didn’t try hard enough

i read online today that a man in pennsylvania walked into a health club and shot up an aerobics class before he took his own life. the article included some of his blog entries. in them he describes what he called his “exit plan”. he goes on to say that he has tried for 30 years to change his life. to change his situation. to change his luck as it were, and all to no avail. he says he is lonely and that women just don’t like him. he blames his bully of a brother and mother for what he became and what he did.

he decided he should end his life rather than suffer another 29 years of loneliness and failure to control his life. he walked into the aerobics class and turned out the lights (like a fucking coward) so he could not see his victims and then opened fire before finally taking his own life. he took with him 3 women. three people who probably, just like him and everyone else on the planet, strove every day to change their life. to change their situation. to change their luck.

he blames his brother and his mother. he blames all the women who didn’t understand him. he blames everyone but himself.

you’re an adult for christ’s sake. for the majority of us on this planet, you make your own life. you decide how people react to you. how they interact with you. how they relate to you. you make yourself the person you want to be and to hell with the rest. you HAVE a choice. you can take responsibility for your life and the person you are/want to be, or you can take the cowards route and lay blame for all your supposed “failure” to be who you want or get what you believe you deserve on everyone else. it’s up to you to try to remember that.

he didn’t try at all if you ask me.

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