baby, oh baby – january 14, 2013

dreamt i was sitting in an auditorium watching some weird roller derby circus. they lady in the seat next to me had a very tiny baby in her arms. she turned to me and said, “here. take this” and handed the baby to me. i held the tiny baby to my chest and it latched onto my breast like a lamprey eel! it freaked me out and i kept saying “no, baby. no” while trying to pry it off me. at last the lady took her baby back and took it out of its blankets. it had a glass porthole in its stomach and you could see right inside it. she took out a syringe full of formula and injected into a tube sticking out of the porthole. the baby was really malleable too! like it was made out of soft rubber. the baby would punch itself in the head and its head would cave in and then pop back out just like a doll head. so weird!

tiny owls – january 11, 2013

dreams about tiny animals continue to plague my sleep. this time i dreamt about tiny owls. hamster-sized owls. i was on a resort on a tropical island and the hotel rooms had built in aviaries filled with wild birds and butterflies. sounds pretty, but the hotel really was a dump. anyway… one of the tiny owls pushed it’s way through the bars and began to follow me around. eventually he flew up and landed on my head. so cute. then he pooped on me.

bear terrarium – january 7, 2013

i dreamt about teeny tiny animals. bears and foxes and turtles no bigger than a quarter. they were all in these cool glass terrariums. i had one larger terrarium and it had foxes and squirrels and all kinds of forest animals in it. there was a tiny mountain in there too and on the mountain there lived 5 or 6 tiny bears. the bears eventually came down from the tiny mountain and ate all the other tiny animals. oh well. who can blame them. they are bears after all.

mmm… your arm is delicious! – april 15, 2010

i’ve been dreaming about serial killers and monsters a lot. last night i dreamed about a serial killer who would only hunt large women and then would eat them alive! the government created him. many years earlier they had locked this man in a large steel cell way beneath the earth and subjected him to chemical experiments. one day he got out and killed one of his captors and ate his brains. then he “evolved” into a super killer who was almost impossible to stop. he said he was hunting lions. he attacked a woman in a cafe and stripped the flesh from her arms and ate it before anyone could do anything about it! people tried to pry him off of her but he was too strong. he finally let her go and ran away.

at the end of the dream, the government locked me in the cell way beneath the earth. i was their next awful experiment and they were going to put that awful freak back in the cell with me when they finally caught him again. i woke up screaming for someone to let me out.

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