2008 dreams

sharkcat, spidercat and mice mice mice – sept 18, 2008

sharkcat: i dreamed me and some friends of mine were walking down the front stairs of my apartment. waiting at the bottom of the stairs was a shark. it kept trying to bite our feet. it wiggled its way up the stairs towards us. i backed up the stairs and climbed the rail. the shark kept jumping for my feet. i started to kick it in the head to keep it away from me. that’s when i noticed it was no longer a shark but a kitten in a clear plastic bag. the kitten was mewling in pain. someone had skinned it alive. my friends told me i had to kill it. they told me it was suffering and dying from my kicking its head. the bastards wouldn’t help me. they said only i could do it. i picked up the bloody bagged kitten and brought it into my apartment. i filled up the kitchen sink with water and began to try drowning the kitten. it kept struggling and crying and i just couldn’t put it out of its misery. i felt sick when i woke up. (just writing this is making me cry)

spidercat: the second dream i had involved being in some strangers house. i had my dogs with me. this person kept a cat littler box down in the basement. one of my dogs ran down to get at the litter (dogs LOVE kitty poop. it’s like the most amazing treat in the world to them. gross). anyway, i ran to the basement door and started to call for my dog. he wouldn’t come (obviously). i was getting angrier and angrier and calling louder and louder. the man whose house it was kept telling me i sounded mean and bitchy and that i should just go downstairs and get the dog. i turned on the light at the top of the basement stairs and was just about to go down when i saw a huge spider web blocking my path. there was a huge spider in the centre of the web. it was about the size of my entire hand! there was NO way i was going down the stairs. i asked the man why he hadn’t killed the spider and he said he thought it was harmless enough. just then, my dog ran up the stairs and right through the web! this really aggravated the spider! it reared up and hissed. it started to climb up the stairs towards us. as it did, it morphed into a cat! a gray tabby cat. it hissed and spit at us and i kept shouting at the man to kill it but he said he wouldn’t ever do that now that he knew it was a magic spidercat! i suspect he knew about it all along and that is why the kitty litter was down in the basement with the spidercat.

mice mice mice: i dreamt about baby mice. there were about 40 of them. they were different sizes and colours. they were in my closet. i picked one up and began to play with it. i was sweet and tame. i put it back in the closet with the others but now that it had been given attention, it wanted to leave the closet all the time. the others started to escape too. i couldn’t have mice running all over the apartment so i gathered them up and put them in the bathtub with some cedar shavings and some food. my friend’s little boy climbed in the tub and began to play with the mice. i left him there for a minute so i could talk with my friend in the other room. i returned to find that the little boy had turned on the faucet and the tub was filled with about 5 inches of water. the mice were trying to swim but they began drowning. first i tried to save them but as i plucked them out of the water, their bodies would turn to jelly and seep between my fingers to the floor. i couldn’t save them so i had to try and get rid of them. the only thing i thought i could do was flush them down the toilet. alive or dead, i flushed them all down the toilet.

why do i keep dreaming about having to kill innocent animals?


drowning in a sea of dog shit – august 28, 2008

last night i dreamed about shit. lots and lots of it. it was in every dream i had. when i dreamt about the backyard, it was full of dog shit. when i dreamt about the rugs, they were covered in dog shit. i even had a dream where i had dog shit in my mouth and there wasn’t a toothbrush in sight. lovely.


train in vain. raining stars – august 14, 2008

i’ve been dreaming about M.Y. a lot these days. in all the dreams M.Y. is trying desperately to get somewhere but he’s panicked, frustrated and impatient and he rushes off leaving me behind wondering where i’m supposed to meet him. in this dream, he and i were riding on a train that ran along a set of tracks on the sidewalk of a big city. the driver kept stopping to pick up passengers along the way and M.Y. was getting more and more panicked with each stop. he kept saying “i have to get there now! i’m running out of time! i have to get there now!” i kept asking him where he needed to go but he didn’t answer me.

when the driver pulled up to the next stop, he told everyone he was taking a 15 minute break and that we’d be resuming our trip afterwards. M.Y. rushed up to the driver and grabbed him by the collar. he tossed him off the train and grabbed the controls. as the train accelerated, it left the tracks and rocked sharply sending passengers flying about the cars. i found myself hanging from a rail along the outside of the main car. i tried to pull myself back in but i couldn’t get a grip because M.Y. was steering the train erratically. i had to let go or be dragged. i found myself standing on the sidewalk watching the train pull away from me.

i found myself wandering the streets trying to find some sort of transportation to a destination i didn’t know. i bumped into a friend on the street and she told me she was heading to the bus depot to catch the hollywood bus to the meteor fields. she invited me to come along. we got on a large bus that had a wood panel interior and was decorated to look like a winnebago. we sat down at a breakfast nook and the bus took off. by now the sun was setting and the sky was quickly getting darker.

we left the city and made our way across a very large field. the bus stopped at the centre of the field and my friend and i got off. it pulled away leaving us alone. there was no other person in sight. it was now completely dark. we could see the city lights way off in the distance. all of a sudden, a slash of light cut across the sky. i looked up and more bright streaks flashed across the sky. they were so vibrant and appeared so close! 5 more streaks cut across the sky all at once. they looked like they were heading right for us! as they burned out, hot ash fell from the sky all around us! there wasn’t any shelter in the meteor fields so we ran around trying to avoid the falling stars as we shook hot cinders from our hair and clothes. still… it was incredibly beautiful.


nuke the french – july 14, 2008

i was on a battlefield somewhere in an urban wasteland. the light was gray and cold. there were concrete ruins all around. i was standing with a group of scientists who were fussing with a large, freestanding panel filled with lights and buttons. just in front of them stood a hundred or so short range nuclear missiles. they used the panel to launch them at another group of scientists that stood on a hill a few hundred yards away from where we were. the first group of scientists would launch 7 or 8 or 12 missiles and watch as they hit their targets. then when the smoke settled, the group on the hill would press a few buttons on their own panel and launch 7 or 8 or 12 missiles back at us and assess the damage they did. this went on for a few rounds.

after a few back and forth exchanges, we noticed that our group was “winning” the battle. they had fewer scientists and fewer missiles left with every round we sent their way. it was right then that i heard from behind me a chorus of voices singing in french. when i turned around i saw a battalion of french soldiers dressed in colonial period uniforms. they carried long muskets with bayonets on the end. they had us trapped between themselves and the group of what i now realized were french scientists on the hill ahead. there was nothing we could do. right then, the scientists i was with pulled a super bold move and launched all the missiles at once without setting specific targets! the missiles randomly landed all around us, exploding as they hit the ground. i ran for cover in an old ruined concrete building and waited for the destruction and chaos to end. when the dust settled and all was quiet, i poked my head out to look around. i noticed my group of scientists were still there in front of their lit up panel completely untouched! they stood surveying the damage all around while furiously taking notes. somehow the missiles had wiped out every last french soldier and scientist in front of and behind us but miraculously they did not land on us.

how in the hell did they not blow us ALL up?!


evil spirits. good spirits. sex and water – july 5, 2008

last night i dreamed about having sex. lots of sex. really REALLY good sex. but i’m not going to write about those dreams. you want me to, though, don’t you? perv. hee hee!

i had another dream last night right after the sex dream. hehe. in it i was living in a strange community centre/rooming house. it was evening and i was in my pjs and i was making my way to the communal kitchen to make myself some tea. the director of this centre was walking down the hall with a group of residents. he was telling them that tonight was the only night to see the humming beetles in the forest. they only gathered like this once every 20 years or so.

the forest was dark and humid and lush and green. it was twilight and there were fireflies everywhere and all around me was the sound of the humming beetles. they were just plain brown beetles but the sound they made was incredible. a deep, low, vibrating hum that seemed to soak right into your soul.

when i got back to my room at the community centre, i found a good spirit waiting there for me. he was an old southern blues man and he was hanging out around my record collection. at first we didn’t know why he was there but after we talked a little, we realized that i was to help release him from this world so that he could meet with his blues friends in the other world.

there was to be a trial where a very, very old woman was to judge his past life and determine whether he lived a wicked life or a good life. if he was found to have lived a good life, he would be released to the other world. if he lived a wicked life, he would be doomed to wander this world lost. the old woman started reading poetry and books that the spirit owned when he was alive. she listened to his music. she went through his personal effects. she tried to piece his life together. she decided that he had lived a very full and good life. he was free. before he left for good, he gave me a powerful totem to protect me. a little doll that contained a little of his spirit. it would bring me luck and protection from evil. i placed the totem by my records.

the old lady now had a small baby on her lap. the baby was fussing and crying. the old lady went to grab a bottle off my shelf. when she shook it, it squeaked and shrieked and made a lot of noise. she was going to feed the baby whatever was in the bottle. i ran over and grabbed the bottle from her before she could pull the stopper out. i told her it contained an evil monkey spirit that used to run amok before i trapped it in the bottle. i had almost forgotten about it before she took it down from the shelf. i carefully put it back where it belonged.


smurf urine – July 4, 2008

this is just a fragment of a dream because i can’t remember the whole dream anymore. i woke up and told myself to remember it but i didn’t. go figure.

here’s what i do remember. i was in a big dark building. like a warehouse or something. and i was getting into a big freight elevator. i was wearing beige snow pants and a parka. i had to pee really badly and couldn’t hold it in any longer. as soon as the elevator doors closed, i pulled down my snow pants and relieved myself but because i was standing up, it went all over my legs. that’s not the worst part. as i was peeing, the elevator doors opened to reveal a group of people who stood staring in amazement and disgust as i scrambled to pull up my snow pants all the while unable to stop peeing. my pee was BLUE. the same colour the water in your toilet turns when you put sani-flush in the tank. because i had blue urine, it stained my legs blue and left blue streaks all over my pants and boots.


god has got a magnifying glass… – July 1, 2008

…and he’s not afraid to use it! it has been raining a lot lately. A LOT a lot! so much so that you could gather this city up in your hands and wring it out and hang it up to dry for a week and it would still be damp. this gray weather has seeped into my brain and i’ve been dreaming about rain. i’ve been dreaming of dark skies and storms.

last night i dreamt that i was sitting in the middle of a large field in the middle of a dark and wet city. the sky was black and the rain had just stopped. i was looking up at the sky directly above me. there was a tiny clearing beginning to appear. a little pin prick in the dark clouds. so small that only a narrow beam of light broke through. the beam of light touched down right in front of me and it was so narrow and so concentrated that it burned the ground where it landed. i ran for cover under the porch of a small house that stood all alone in the field. i watched as the beam zig zagged its way across the field leaving a smoldering path behind it. it was as if someone high above was holding a magnifying glass and i was a tiny ant scrambling to keep from getting burned. i wasn’t so sure the porch would protect me.


eyebrows – june 26, 2008

last night i had a dream about my eyebrows. or more specifically… about my left eyebrow. i was getting ready to go out and i thought i’d make a quick mirror check before i left the house. when i peered into the mirror i noticed a long black hair hanging down in front of my left eye. i went to brush it away and that’s when i noticed it was actually a very, very long eyebrow hair! it was almost 12 inches long!!!

i wondered why i hadn’t noticed it before. could it have been coiled up beneath the surface of my skin waiting to spring out on that day at that moment? i plucked it out and took it over to my friend M.Y.’s house to show him. i wanted to ask him if he had ever noticed it before. he hadn’t. it was then that i noticed that he was completely bald! he had decided to shave his head clean down to the scalp. he asked if it bothered me. it didn’t. i told him he looked good no matter what. i meant it.


derby wedding – june 16, 2008

i dreamed a derby teammate of mine was getting married. the only thing was, she hadn’t really told the three grooms that were waiting at the church which one she was going to marry! the first was named kenneth, and the second was named —- (i can’t remember). kenneth and —- were really nerdy guys with weedy mustaches and bad suits. they were fighting for this derby girl’s attention but they were so geeky that they wouldn’t fight using their fists. instead they stood in front of the church at opposite sides of the street flinging ‘beer grenades” at each other. they would each shake a can and whip it at the other. they both had shitty aim and ended up hitting everything and everyone else but their intended target. i got a beer grenade in the back and it exploded warm, fizzy beer all over my dress.

the third groom was named thomas. he was very tall and handsome and extremely well dressed. he stood off to one side and watched the other two make asses of themselves.

i asked derby girl why she wasn’t stopping the ‘fight’. she said she already knew she was going to marry thomas but that she wanted to watch the other two humiliate themselves for a bit first. i thought that was mean.

she wore a spanish style wedding dress with puffy sleeves and a large hoop skirt. on her feet she wore roller skates that were either burgundy or navy blue depending on how the light hit them. the wheels were navy blue and covered in velvet. they were cool!


evil empire – june 5, 2008

so i had this crazy dream the other night. i was in the penthouse of a very tall building. the walls were floor to ceiling windows. it faced a long boulevard at the end of which was a row of smokestacks. there was thick black smoke billowing from the stacks that created a blanket of darkness over the city. a booming voice could be heard all around. the voice was announcing that the time of evil was here and all the good people in the world were now destined to be killed.

i was terrified because i thought i was going to be taken away and killed with the rest of the good people but no one took me away. in fact, evil people started to gather in the penthouse that i was occupying! they floated up through the air and slid through the glass windows like ghosts taking their place around me in the room. it was then that i realized I WAS EVIL! i thought i was good but everyone around me knew i wasn’t. my heart sank.

down below people were being slaughtered in the streets. all i could do was watch in horror.

i woke up feeling like shit.

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